Not long ago I was listening to the praise and worship song, "This Is The Air I Breathe" (Desperate for You) by Michael W. Smith. It started me thinking that I haven't been as desperate for God lately as I used to be. Have you ever been in that place where you come to the realization that, spiritually speaking, things aren't quite the same for you anymore? I think we sometimes get so busy with all the distractions around us and with all we have going on in our lives that we become burned out and weary to the point that we just begin to go through the motions of our daily biblical disciplines without giving them our undivided attention.
I caught myself up this past week and realized that I need to spend some real alone time with my heavenly Father. I love to minister to people in any way I can and by any means - telephone, Internet or face to face, but I feel that I have been giving out more than I've been taking in. We all know that this never works; if we don't spend time in the Word, in prayer and in listening for His still, small voice we can end up running on empty. I think my spiritual life has become depleted in the past few weeks, maybe months. I lost my sister Ellen to cancer in July, there have been changes at my beloved church (we've been without a senior pastor for a year now), and Craig and I are in the process of planning for a future move: I've been involved in trying to sort, give away and discard 22+ years worth of "stuff" we've accumulated where we currently live.
However, this morning during praise and worship at church, I began to feel the Lord dealing with my heart. I sensed Him telling me that I need to let some things go and spend more time with Him. I knew I was being wooed by Jesus to come and rest in Him so that He can bring restoration to every area of my life where needed, so this afternoon I grabbed my Bible and began reading in John 6:50-51 where it says, "This is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.” While Jesus was speaking of the time when he would soon lay down His life as a sacrifice for our sins and that when we partake of this bread we are saved, I believe we can also apply it to mean that whenever we taste of this same Bread we will be strengthened, renewed and refreshed in Him. And how hungry I am for this Living Bread! Sometimes we don't realize just how hungry we are until we begin eating. And nothing can satisfy us like God's Word.
I'm taking inventory this week and planning to cut out those things in my life that have become unnecessary distractions and time consuming habits. I want to be so desperate for Jesus that no matter how satisfied I am in Him, I will always want more. I want to be filled to overflowing, only to keep returning to the well for more of the Living Water. I want to wake up with praise and thanksgiving on my lips and have it continue throughout the day. And I want strangers to be so blown away by the anointing of the Lord resting on me, that they approach me and want to know what's different about me and how they can get it. Come and drink freely, friends!